Motherhood, Unfiltered

The messy, beautiful truth about postpartum, pressure, and finding your people.

Motherhood, and womanhood in general, has a way of stripping away the filters. Not just the ones we scroll past on our phones, but the ones we’ve unknowingly placed on our own lives. It reveals who we are beneath the roles, the expectations, and the pressure to be perfect all the time.

There’s no one right way to do this, this things we call life. No perfect path, no universal handbook. But, what I’ve learned is this:

The more we tell the truth, the real, messy, beautiful truth, the more we realize we’re not alone.

This is my motherhood story. The unfiltered version.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was flooded with emotions: excitement, nerves, hope… and let’s be honest, a bit of fear too. But what I noticed almost immediately was how often people spoke about pregnancy and motherhood in extremes. Either it was magical and glowing and full of joy, or it was a chaotic mess of sleepless nights and spit-up. Not much in between.

What I didn’t hear a lot of was truth.

The kind of real-life stuff that happens in those quiet, in-between moments. The ones that leave you wondering: Is it just me? Am I doing this right? Am I a good mom?

I love being a mom. I truly do. It’s the most soul-shaping role I’ve ever stepped into. But that doesn’t mean it’s been easy. And it definitely hasn’t looked like the filtered version I often saw portrayed on social media or heard in casual conversation. There’s this quiet pressure, especially as a first-time mom, to do it all “right.” Breastfeed perfectly. Bounce back quickly. Soak in every second. Be grateful, always.

But when I look back at my immediate postpartum experience, I remember how disorienting it was. My body was recovering. My hormones were everywhere. I had this tiny, perfect human who depended on me for everything, but I didn’t feel like I had the tools, or honestly, the space to process what I had just gone through. There wasn’t much guidance. But somehow, there were what felt like a lot of expectations.

To add to it, we had just moved to Houston less than a year before finding out we were pregnant. I didn’t have a built-in village. No mom friends down the street. No family to swing by for a quick visit (my in-laws were 2.5 hours away). I was navigating brand new motherhood and searching for community at the same time. And that kind of loneliness? It’s hard to describe unless you’ve lived it.

Fast forward to one year postpartum:

I had survived an entire year of raising a tiny human. Of course, I didn’t do it alone. My husband has been the most wonderful teammate. Our families showed up big time. I’ve made new friends, and the old ones have been phenomenal.

And still, I found myself craving something more.

I had slowly gotten back to work as an online personal trainer, helping women look and feel their best, but I felt this nudge to still do more. Something deeper. I kept thinking about how I felt during pregnancy and that first year postpartum. I wished women had shared their experiences more openly and honestly with me. I wished social media hadn’t been the standard for what I thought motherhood was supposed to look like.

What I craved was connection. Something real and raw. A place where I could be myself, feel like I belonged, and maybe, just maybe, make a difference. I’m a helper at heart. I always have been.

That’s really how The Habit Mama began, even before I had a name for it.

It started as my own attempt to reclaim space.. space to process, to heal, to prioritize my well-being not just as a mom, but as a whole person. I knew that simple daily habits like, movement, fresh air, hydration, and rest were what held me together when everything else felt hard. I didn’t want to wait until life was easier to take care of myself. I wanted to build habits I could return to, even on the hardest days. I knew other moms needed that too.

And as I leaned deeper into that journey, something unexpected and beautiful happened:

I found women who felt just like I did.

That’s when I reached out to my friend, Jenny.

Jenny and I have worked together for years. She was one of my very first training clients. She always joked that I was her “life coach,” and truthfully, we’ve walked through so much life together. She inspired me, and I guess I inspired her too. When I thought about creating something new, something honest, she was the first person who came to mind.

Jenny had recently closed her business, one that had served thousands of women and created a community I was always drawn to. She has this radiant, go-getter energy. Jenny is, quite literally, a real joy to have in your life.

When I reached out to her, the conversation went something like:

“Hey, I have this idea I want to pitch to you… but I don’t actually know what it looks like yet. All I know is, I want to build something amazing with you.”

From there, it was like our souls clicked.

We realized we’d both been craving the same thing: something grounded, meaningful, and real. And from that conversation, The Real Joy Project was born.

That’s why The Real Joy Project means so much to me.

It was born out of conversations like these. The kind that remind us we’re not alone, we’re not doing it wrong, and we don’t have to pretend everything is perfect in order to be good moms or humans. We created a space where women can exhale, be honest, and connect without judgment. A place where real joy isn’t found in perfection, but in presence, honesty, and shared experience.

So yes, this story is about The Real Joy Project.

But it’s also about The Habit Mama.

It’s about building the kind of foundation I needed during the hardest, most beautiful transition of my life, and offering that same foundation to other women who are still in the thick of it.

If you’re in early motherhood, navigating menopause, or just craving a little more intention and connection in your everyday life, both of these spaces were created with you in mind.

You belong here.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

None of us do.

Thanks for being here and for letting me share a piece of my story. I hope it reminds you that you’re never alone in this.

With love and honesty,

Shelby

P.S. If you’re craving connection too, come join us inside The Real Joy Project. It’s everything I wish I had back then, and I’d love to welcome you in.

And if you’re just trying to hold on to your habits in the chaos? The Habit Mama is here for that too.