Last weekend, I did something I hadn’t done since becoming a mom: I spent a weekend away from my daughter.
No nap-time routine. No nighttime nursing sessions and snuggles. No tiny hands offering their help with every task.
Just space. Just me.
But also… not just me.
Because as I packed for that trip, I realized I wasn’t going away empty-handed. I was bringing along something I didn’t even fully recognize until I left: the habits I’ve been building this past year.
The Emotional Weight of Leaving
If I’m honest, I felt like I had to feel guilty in order to be a good mom… like missing her was a requirement to prove I cared deeply enough.
I wondered if it was okay to look forward to time away. I was hung up on questions like:
Would she be okay without me?
Would I be okay without her?
Would I miss her too much, or not enough.. and what would either answer say about me as a mother?
But here’s the truth that surprised me: I was okay. And a big part of that was because of who I left her with and how I prepared to care for myself while I was away.
Knowing she was in the loving hands of her grandma and her dad gave me peace. They know her and they love her fully. And I trusted them. That trust made my time away so much easier.
And once I arrived, the distractions helped too, but not in a “numbing” way. I was present. I laughed, connected, and moved my body. I soaked in moments that had nothing to do with nap schedules or diaper changes. And I found pieces of me that I hadn’t realized were buried under the layers of daily motherhood.
The Habits That Traveled With Me
Even without my usual routine, certain habits just showed up. They were like muscle memory for my mind and body:
Daily movement – We walked to grab coffee in the mornings, explored the zoo one afternoon, and took a long 3-mile loop around the lake with their dog.
Hydration – I kept my water bottle close, aiming for over 100oz like I would at home.
Protein-forward, balanced meals – I said yes to eating out and treats (because I live by the 80/20 mindset), but also yes to feeling good in my body.
Cooking at my friend’s house – It wasn’t fancy, but it felt grounding. We saved money, time, and decision fatigue, and nourished ourselves in more ways than one.
Quiet moments – I took a nap because I wanted to, not because it aligned with my daughter’s schedule. I sipped hot coffee without responsibility, without rushing to the next task. I sat still and simply enjoyed the quiet, something I rarely get to do at home.
How I Coped
I wasn’t navigating this emotional shift by myself. I talked to other moms before the trip and was honest with how I was feeling. Not one of them judged me. Instead, they offered encouragement, and one piece of advice in particular really stuck with me:
“You’re taking care of yourself, which means you will be an even better mom. You’re also teaching her that you are always taking care of her, and will only leave her in a safe place where she is loved and taken care of.”
That validation made such a difference. It reminded me that I wasn’t broken or ungrateful for needing space. I wasn’t a “bad” mom. I was just human.
And then there was my friend, the one I traveled to see. She gets it. She shares similar values and wanted to spend our time feeling good, not drained. We cheered each other on in small ways all weekend, which made it easy to stick to the choices that supported us.
And of course, those texts from my husband and mother-in-law. The FaceTimes, the updates, the photos, the “we miss you” messages. Those held me together, too.
The Bigger Picture of Habits as a Mom
Motherhood can easily become your entire identity. And in some seasons, it has to. But it’s also important to remember: you’re still you.
These habits? They aren’t about perfection or productivity. They’re about keeping true to myself. They remind me that I’m a person with needs, preferences, and purpose. That my entire identity isn’t, Mom. That I’m not just someone who lives in service to a tiny human (even though I would literally do anything for her).
Taking a break from my everyday responsibilities didn’t pull me away from motherhood. It gave me a fresh perspective. It reminded me that I like the person I’ve become, even outside of being “mom.” And that made me feel even more rooted when I returned.
Coming Home
When I walked back through the door, my daughter’s smile and hug was exactly what I needed. Her and grandma had even made a welcome home sign for me!
I picked her up with a full heart, and honestly, a renewed appreciation for the life I’ve built, not just as a mom, but as a woman who’s still growing.
Yes, I missed her. But I also came back better, more grounded, more present. Most importantly, I came back a better version of me.
And the truth is: the habits I’ve nurtured this past year weren’t just “good practices.” They held me together, even while I was away.
To every mama wrestling with the guilt and the grace of taking time for herself, you’re not alone.
In it together.
Shelby
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